Operation Chocolate

Confession time – yours truly has been on drugs again. Another operation this week! And I notched up a new type of hero to add to my list of people that make the world hugely more bearable (and enjoyable) – ‘Anesthetists.’

And one in particular I add, whom this Monday, put me to sleep for a knee operation to my left knee, deserves to be on my list of great honors. Wow those anesthetics are amazing! I mean what is that drug they inject down into the needle thing attached to the back of your wrist just before the drug that takes you to sleep and says to you, hey Angus it doesn’t matter if they chop your entire leg off – nothing matters!

Which of course if you think about it. Nothing does matter! The only thing that matters is the emotions we apply to anything in life. And the point is that it’s only when we are put to sleep that we do actually wake up!

I mean just looking at the anesthetist’s face, which was finely equipped with one dark eye brow which possessed the curious ability to rise on its own while the other, a light one, remained mysteriously stationery. Watching this unique facial performance while he preceded to name out loud all the drugs he was giving to me, as my consciousness blissfully rose to my head; now that was pretty dam cool.

‘Angus Kennedy you are going down’ (it was a general anesthetic of course). I fell asleep as I started to lie back and some hands caught my head. So he was a cool guy and the operation was a success. They found not one, but three ‘foreign bodies’ that they showed me in a small blue pot when I woke up (now sent off for analysis) floating around the soft tissues at the back on my knee.

Four years of pain are over! No more writing about knee pain in Friday Light, (claps and cheers of relief I hear) – yes no longer will you have to hear of any bad knees!

But how was I to know that a whole load of debris was floating around my knee? And the moral is, go for the scan and don’t listen to anyone, as I knew something was wrong even after two knee ops and top consultants said there was nothing wrong. And now it’s all over.

Well not quite – I am stuck on the couch with my knee up at home, marooned to the living room not being able to drive for a week or two with a large L shaped cut in the back of my leg while life operates around me.

I think I am still high from this week’s drugs. I must be and because of that and not being able to stand up or of much use, I am here now finishing what needs to be done; my next book! Correction, possibly your next book which will be finished this summer, which is all about my co-incidental life in chocolate.

So now I am back home, my wonderful readers, stranded in the living room on the couch with the sausage dog over the school holidays with my knee up trying to concentrate with an Xbox in the background with three kids all shooting anything they spot on the screen. Glad I am still high – hey!

Let’s face it a man with 5 kids, a busy job and so on. How was I ever going write a book, another book even? But I am. I must be truly drugged up then to have decided to do this, and once I start, I know it will be OK. We are at 25,000 words already of pure drug-induced nonsense! So I thank my anesthetist.

So again fate takes its toll. I’m not much use for much else. Take it as a sign Angus – you will finish your next book and so be it. Amen. Just like all the others – I am put in a situation where they must be written.

And while I was in hospital the Kennedy’s Confection gang at my office launches the entire new Kennedy’s web site without me! That makes it all perfect. “Their drugged up zombie boss on the couch – quick guys – let’s get a few things done now while he’s high as a kite!” But I thank them entirely for running the ship.

In the mean time my wife has taken the pet rabbit to the vet to have his eye operated on with a chorus of accompanying kids in the car. It’s the week of ops! So soon the rabbit will come and join me!

So the book I am writing now is about chocolate and my life in it and I add before I go: If they made a truffle with some of the stuff I had this week… Well now, that gives high-end chocolate a whole new meaning!

Have a lovely Friday and here’s to us all, in true style, making a negative into a wonderful positive!

ANGUS

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