The Caged Pet Makes You Think You Are Free

I have promised myself that this would not be a serious Friday Light, even though I am now questioning the fact that I am living the ‘illusion’. Well I now know that what I see is not what I could see. What I hear is not the voices that need to be ‘heard’ and what I think, well, man, they are often not my thoughts at all, but transmitted on the wish that I would think negatively. No such luck, enter Friday Light!

But in the mean time it’s back to basics: my house is once again filling up with pets, my wife and I still haven’t been able to go to a restaurant for Valentines, the oven has broken down (again), we can’t get a decorator to patch up the previously flooded lounge and we soooo need some sunlight!

And I was thinking things were going O.K. as the pet population of the Kennedy’s household had been dropping very satisfactorily. One of our rabbits (bless him) after 12 years escaped from his cage and went for a slow walk (more like a funeral March) into the garden, much to the delight of the waiting foxes.

I said a prayer, placed his cage in the garage, thinking, well at least I can actually get to the kitchen without climbing over rabbit cages. And then the last tropical fish died, bingo! This was excellent news as the blasted thing lived for over 8 years and we had to keep the entire tank going in a much needed space for chopping vegetables just for one single fish.

So that was a result; one less fish, one less rabbit, that was until my four-year old discovered these wretched (and most disconnected from humans) rodents called guinea pigs that seem to want to relieve themselves only when they are either sitting on your lap, or the most prized toilet of all – the human’s couch!

A place that curiously also seems to be the new house for our tortoise too, who goes under the couch to escape the sausage dog that hmm, is now on heat (potential puppy time for my overseas readers!) and also now in a commanding position where can stain the house carpets quite considerably.

So picture this; mum and dad trying to have our Valentines evening at home for the 5th time, weeks later when we missed the date anyway (we are still trying). We both have valentines presents unwrapped that we just can’t get the time to give each other. We try, but tortoise is parked herself just behind the kitchen door so if any one of five kids comes blasting in, the tortoise would break in two. Sausage dog meanwhile is planning the next colourful house trail as she has no sausage dog-time-of-the-month-pants that they sell in the local pet shop.

And while we are trying not to watch out for this imminent accident of tortoise being taken out by the door opening, we do actually try to open the wine; which we now can’t, because our youngest kid liked the look of the new Asda corkscrew and duly took it away to play with.

One day we might be able to eat and take time over it, sit on couches (heaven) or lie back in the bath. Well, I am not sure if I want to sit on our couches now anyway! Couches are more comfortable than cages and ours seem to be inhabited by the new arrivals. And not one, but two of this irritating, piggy-omitting-smelling creatures. Animals that squeak when you just walk past the cage or they just relieve themselves instead of squeaking because that’s all they seem to do. But they look cute, I am reminded. Yes of course, cute.

And to top it all, we managed to find ourselves in a bird rescue home last month and it seemed like a good idea to rescue a parrot that seemed quite happy where it was anyway. A bird that would keep ‘snake’ happy. The last time we had birds they would sit on my head while we had dinner squeaking in my ears. Not again, surely!

There is no sanity; there is no reality any more either. Who is really caged, the human or the animal? One thing for sure is that our animals keep us human. They love us no matter what, well not sure about the keen-to-go-to-the-toilet-all-the-time guinea pigs. But I am sure that’s why we have pets, to remember what it’s like to receive unconditional love but also to make us think we are free, which of course could not be further from the truth.

Many animals are closer to being human than we think, they are also being controlled and manipulated; wait for disclosure. Not long.

OK so have a good one and stay away from the pet shops OK!

PS My wife and I finally got a table for the weekend to celebrate Valentine’s. Hmm shall I get her another pet then?

Warmest wishes about everything (even the bad stuff OK)

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